Whats running through my mind...

(Source: yourchicgeek, via bergdorfprincess)

1: Name.
2: Zodiac sign.
3: 3 fears.
4: 3 things I love.
5: 4 turn on’s.
6: 4 turn off’s.
7: My best friend?
8: Sexual orientation?
9: My best first date?
10: How tall am I?
11: What do I miss?
12: What time was I born?
13: Favorite color?
14: Do I have a crush?
15: Favorite quote?
16: Favorite place?
17: Favorite food?
18: Do I use sarcasm?
19: What am I listening to right now?
20: First thing I notice in new person?
21: Shoe size?
22: Eye color?
23: Hair color?
24: Favorite style of clothing?
25: Ever done a prank call?
26: What color of underwear I’m wearing now?
27: Meaning behind my URL?
28: Favorite movie?
29: Favorite song?
30: Favorite band?
31: How I feel right now?
32: Someone I love.
33: My current relationship status.
34: My relationship with my parents.
35: Favorite holiday.
36: Tattoos and piercing I have.
37: Tattoos and piercing I want.
38: The reason I joined Tumblr.
39: Do I and my last ex hate each other?
40: Do I ever get “good morning” or “good night” texts?
41: Have I ever kissed the last person I texted?
42: When did I last hold hands?
43: How long does it take me to get ready in the morning?
44: Have I shaved my legs in the past three days?
45: Where am I right now?
46: If I were drunk & can’t stand, who’s taking care of me?
47: Do I like my music loud or at a reasonable level?
48: Do I live with my Mom and Dad?
49: Am I excited for anything?
50: Do I have someone of the opposite sex I can tell everything to?
51: How often do I wear a fake smile?
52: When was the last time I hugged someone?
53: What if the last person I kissed was kissing someone else right in front of me?
54: Is there anyone I trust even though I should not?
55: What is something I disliked about today?
56: If I could meet anyone on this earth, who would it be?
57: What do I think about most?
58: What’s my strangest talent?
59: Do I have any strange phobias?
60: Do I prefer to be behind the camera or in front of it?
61: What was the last lie I told?
62: Do I prefer talking on the phone or video chatting online?
63: Do I believe in ghosts? How about aliens?
64: Do I believe in magic?
65: Do I believe in luck?
66: What’s the weather like right now?
67: What was the last book I’ve read?
68: Do I like the smell of gasoline?
69: Do I have any nicknames?
70: What was the worst injury I’ve ever had?
71: Do I spend money or save it?
72: Can I touch my nose with a tongue?
73: Is there anything pink in 10 feet from me?
74: Favorite animal?
75: What was I doing last night at 12 AM?
76: What do I think Satan’s last name is?
77: What’s a song that always makes me happy when I hear it?
78: How can you win my heart?
79: What would I want to be written on my tombstone?
80: What is my favorite word?
81: My top 5 blogs on tumblr?
82: If the whole world were listening to me right now, what would I say?
83: Do I have any relatives in jail?
84: I accidentally eat some radioactive vegetables. They were good, and what’s even cooler is that they endow me with the super-power of my choice! What is that power?
85: What would be a question I’d be afraid to tell the truth on?
86: What is my current desktop picture?
87: Had sex?
88: Bought condoms?
89: Gotten pregnant?
90: Failed a class?
91: Kissed a boy?
92: Kissed a girl?
93: Have I ever kissed somebody in the rain?
94: Had job?
95: Left the house without my wallet?
96: Bullied someone on the Internet?
97: Had sex in public?
98: Played on a sports team?
99: Smoked weed?
100: Did drugs?
101: Smoked cigarettes?
102: Drank alcohol?
103: Am I a vegetarian/vegan?
104: Been overweight?
105: Been underweight?
106: Been to a wedding?
107: Been on the computer for 5 hours straight?
108: Watched TV for 5 hours straight?
109: Been outside my home country?
110: Gotten my heart broken?
111: Been to a professional sports game?
112: Broken a bone?
113: Cut myself?
114: Been to prom?
115: Been in airplane? 116: Fly by helicopter?
117: What concerts have I been to?
118: Had a crush on someone of the same sex?
119: Learned another language?
120: Wore make up?
121: Lost my virginity before I was 18?
122: Had oral sex?
123: Dyed my hair?
124: Voted in a presidential election?
125: Rode in an ambulance?
126: Had a surgery?
127: Met someone famous?
128: Stalked someone on a social network?
129: Peed outside?
130: Been fishing?
131: Helped with charity?
132: Been rejected by a crush?
133: Broken a mirror?
134: What do I want for birthday?
135: How many kids do I want and what will be their names?
136: Was I named after anyone?
137: Do I like my handwriting?
138: What was my favorite toy as a child?
139: Favorite TV Show?
140: Where do I want to live when older?
141: Play any musical instrument?
142: One of my scars, how did I get it?
143: Favorite pizza topping?
144: Am I afraid of the dark?
145: Am I afraid of heights?
146: Have I ever got caught sneaking out or doing anything bad?
147: Have I ever tried my hardest and then gotten disappointed in the end?
148: What I’m really bad at.
149: What my greatest achievements are.
150: The meanest thing somebody has ever said to me.
151: What I’d do if I won in a lottery.
152: What do I like about myself?
153: My closest Tumblr friend.
154: Something I fantasies about.
155: Any question you’d like

Our picture pops up and all I can do is cry.

Trust its big in a relationship. So why dont you trust me? I try to do everything right and I honestly shouldnt have to worry about talking to boys. I shouldnt have to worry about it. I know my boundaries. So just please trust me.

I feel like I should talk to you, but have no words to say. I really dont. You say it’ll be different this time. How do I know that? You tell me to believe you but you said that last time. And the time before that. How do I know this time is any different. I just need some space and maybe right now that doesnt include you. I dont know what to do because you know I love you but right now its not looking up. I dont want to do anything. Seriously, I’ve never felt like this before. I have no motivation at all. I dont want to talk to anyone. So if you ask I wont tell you, but what do you do when the person you love doesnt trust you? What do you do when you feel like they’ll judge you by the way you talk to someone? Even once they’ve known you forever. Maybe tomorrow I’ll be better, maybe I wont. But either way its not going to be the same. I just dont know what to do. I miss being happy but right now I have absolutely no happiness inside me. I fake a smile when I get home because my parents dont need to know. I mean my moms job is getting cut and my dad has enough on his plate. They dont need my drama to go with all that. I dont really want lots of people to know about this but yet I’m posting it on Tumblr…kinda ironic huh? This past week has been pretty rough. And I dont really know why I’m spilling everything out right now. But I am.

My phone keeps buzzing with our picture poping up. It’s a text from you. I dont want to tell you that I dont want to talk because thats rude. But I dont want to lie to you either. And honestly us talking isnt helping me right now. I wont stay like this forever, but right now I need my space. This is hard and I dont know how I’m going to fix it. It will get fixed but it might take sometime. So please respect that. I’m doing this for me. And honestly I dont exactly know how I’m going to get out of this. I cant forget about it. I’m sorry I cant. And I know nothings perfect. I’m not perfect at all. I know that but please let me do this the way I need to. Rushing anything will not help me either. But I do love you. So don’t think that I dont. And if your reading this…well now you know how I feel.